I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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