but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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