Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
