I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
