At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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