Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
