hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
