dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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