Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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