Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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