next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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