On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
