That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize