he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
