In the future we'll all be gay
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He better not be in your backpack
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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