You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
