turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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