You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
