The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
