so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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