so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize