Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
