Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize