He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Randomize
