she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
