i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize