So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
