put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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