when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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