I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
