Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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