I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
