You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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