we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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