now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
