Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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