Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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