Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
