how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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