I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
