Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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