I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
