I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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