she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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