He kissed a someone with a penis
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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