I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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