so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
