You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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