pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
