I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
