Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
