Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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