Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
