are you still at the devil's house?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
