hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He better not be in your backpack
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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