I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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