Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
