strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
