bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you inspire me to be a worse person
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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