No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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