If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
