im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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