I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So much rum. So many feels.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize