do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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