Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
