I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
