Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
