idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
