I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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